January 27, 2022
Mask Karengineers

Just when you thought masks couldn't get any dumber, they go and do something like this - and totally prove they can. Let's break it down. Do-gooder, mask Nazi's will stop at nothing to ensure every last person covers their face with a Fauci...


Just when you thought masks couldn't get any dumber, they go and do something like this - and totally prove they can. Let's break it down.

Do-gooder, mask Nazi's will stop at nothing to ensure every last person covers their face with a Fauci Diaper. Karengineers at Northwestern University have developed a smart mask dubbed "FaceBit"; you know, like FitBit you wear on your wrists that tracks your steps and vitals?

Only, you'll only be wearing this monitoring device on your mug. "Facebit" attaches to masks via a magnet and records your breathing, heart rate, whether the mask fits properly, and the amount of "mask time" you have. Not only this, but it can predict fatigue, your physical health status and your emotional state. Like, if you're really annoyed at having to wear a mask.

The Karengineers hope to eventually charge the battery on the Facebit with the force and heat of your breath, as well as the sun. So if it's powered by solar energy - that means they expect you to have it on even while outside.

Your vitals will be sent to an app for real time observation. This begs several questions:

1. To whom is this information reported?
2. What will they do with the information once obtained?, and
3. Who in their right mind would want to wear this freaking thing?

With each passing day, Big Brother reaches for more of your privacy, claiming public health as the battle cry. And the non-compliers are left looking like we don't care about anyone, but ourselves. What’s next? Forcing some type of medical treatment on us, I order working or eat?

Wait...what?

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