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Lefty Psychopaths

The science is in: left-handed people are psychopaths. Let's break it down.

A recent meta-analysis of 16 studies has revealed that non-right handed people, or lefty's, are more prone to be psychopaths. After review, scientists noted how those who have sociopathic tendencies tended to be those who were non-right handed, and they also had higher rates of schizophrenia and depression.

Evolution sees Psychopathic behavior as opportunistic and callous behavior exhibited by certain people who exploit others for increased reproductive opportunities. Stated differently, they lie to get laid. This makes more sense when it's realized that men tend to exhibit psychopathic behaviors more than women.

Evolutionary folly ignores the understanding of the nature of man. Everyone on earth has lied or taken advantage of situations and people at some point to get ahead. This, of course, doesn't mean that we are all sociopaths, but it certainly speaks to our fallen sinful natures.

There is an even more stark correlation between lefties and psychopathy: the Latin word for "left" is "sinistra" from whence we get the word sinister. Does it surprise anyone that five out of the last seven presidents were left-handed, including Barack Obama, Ronald Reagan, George W. Bush, and Bill Clinton? Many world leaders are also of the south-paw persuasion.

But don't forget to be on guard for those ambidextrous folks, though. They are using both sides of their brains to take down the world.

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